Assertiveness (Part 1)

Recently I engaged in a discussion on a post by a friend, Nitu Bhojwani on LinkedIn. I made a few comments and thought that this will be an excellent material for a post in my own blog.

Here is a definition of assertiveness from the internet: 

‘Assertiveness is a skill regularly referred to in social and communication skills training. Being assertive means being able to stand up for your own or other people's rights in a calm and positive way, without being either aggressive, or passively accepting 'wrong'.’

I made the following comment and my previous boss, Mr.Kandiah who is now residing in Canada, responded as shown below.

Luqman: Excellent. I have always called a spade a spade. I don't care if one is a PhD or otherwise if he says something that is wrong I tell it as it should be told. Anyone who has read my posts knows that I do not sugarcoat my words.

Kandiah Canada: LM, sugar coating I don’t mean you diffuse the truth. Let truth be told. The way you convey the truth makes it easier and possibly willing for the person to positively think of correcting himself, rather than bluntly react negatively.

Luqman: KC, I understand. Where I am assertive on LinkedIn, is when professors say things that are wrong and refuse to accept logical arguments when presented to them.

My explanation now: What most readers of my posts on LinkedIn read is what I write after having politely and calmly explained what I have discovered after teaching so-called dyslexic kids over 14 years. Please feel free to visit my blog at www.dyslexiafriend.com and see my emails to many of the professors over the years.

For an example, in 2010, I had written to many professors over more than one year on why I disagree with a more than 35-year-old theory that phonological awareness deficit is not the cause of dyslexia  (a term used loosely to include any and every kid who is unable to read in English).

I explained as clearly as possible that PAD cannot be the cause of kids being unable to read as all my students can read in Malay and Hanyu Pinyin which use the same alphabets as does English.

Most of the professors asked me for my credentials, data and scientific evidence. This is what one of the commenters in Nitu's post commented as well. Let me quote “Assertiveness may not be necessary or desirable, patience and knowledge can do the job i.e. information, actual quotes, actual examples from actual books - to impress upon your colleague that you know and understand and that your suggestion is based on credible sources and your wisdom comes from learning and knowing .”

Can’t professors think anymore? How do I explain to someone who has received a grant to do a research and has said that it is phonological awareness deficit that is the cause of kids being unable to read?  What about the more than one hundred professors who have echoed that theory for decades without thinking?

Even though what I say is logical and is based on my experience these professors are unable to make a U-turn on what they have said over many decades.

If I was not assertive that theory will still be claimed to be true.

Besides asking for my credentials, data and scientific evidence these professors went to the extent of deleting my comments on LinkedIn as well as in blogs.

Where do I look for ‘actual quotes, actual examples from actual books and credible sources’? 

How many teachers in the world have ever tested kids in Malay and Hanyu Pinyin and then tested them in reading in English?

I had discussed this matter on PAD patiently with many of the top professors on LinkedIn via emails for more than a year before writing my articles on my blog and on Facebook and LinkedIn.

Sometimes, like a Tamil proverb says, ‘You can only take out a thorn (in your flesh) with a thorn (sharp instrument).

To be continued….